13 June 2016

Two Years

Healthy. Strong. Fit. Balanced. It is a part of many people's identity. Green juices, quinoa, all the cliches. You don't know how good you've got it until it all changes. 
So, it's pretty scary when you start to waste away. 

A body disappearing, 10kg in a few weeks to be precise. Noticeable, yet completely unexplainable. Panicking and drinking thick-shakes, ice-cream, and anything fatty to try and keep some flesh on your bones. Being told you've lost weight by everyone. Told how great you look. 

Thirst. Not just thirsty, but insatiable, incurable thirst. Thirst that turns your tongue into a labyrinth of cracks, that to speak you need to put water in your mouth so that your tongue doesn't cement itself to the top of your mouth. The moment you swallow a mouthful of water you need more. With this comes constant bathroom trips. Never-ending.  

Energy gone. Fatigue. Naps. 7pm bedtime. Hunger. Vision blurry. Head-spinning. Thrush. Leg cramps. Craving sweetness. 

No visible symptoms, so how can you explain this to anyone? It's flu season. Three doctors. 

Crying in the doctor's surgery while they tell me I have the flu. Again. I sob that my mouth is so dry. Antobiotics. That'll fix it.  

6 weeks on... A doctor listens. Orders a swathe of tests. That night, two years ago, today, I googled every test. I knew then what was wrong. The next day, I just waited for the call. 

Getting our dive certificates just before my immune system went crazy.